Could you also hold up today’s newspaper?

Recruiter: Oh yes, one last thing. Just send us a selfie when you get to your interview.

Me: Pardon?!

Recruiter: You just need to text or Whatsapp us a selfie when you’re at the office safely.

Me: No, I’m not going to send you a selfie, that’s just bizarre!

Recruiter: It’s our policy.

Me: It’s not law though so I’m afraid I still won’t be sending you a pre-interview selfie.

Recruiter: But…

Me: Copy my LinkedIn photo if you desperately need my photo.

Tech people only wear sweatpants

A recruiter calls to prep me for my upcoming interview:

Recruiter: …and if they ask you what your greatest weakness is think of a negative and turn it into a positive!

Me: Mmhmm

The recruiter is being very patronising – this isn’t my first rodeo by any means.

Recruiter: And what were you planning on wearing to the interview?

Me: Clothes…

Recruiter: Ahahaha yeah good but seriously, what were you thinking of wearing?