Memory upgrade required

I’ve had an interview and it went well. The interviewer made it clear he wanted me to progress to their final stage. After the interview I check in via text with my recruiter who had asked me to keep him in the loop.

Me: Hi [Recruiter]! Just to let you know that the interview went pretty well. They told me that they’d be getting in touch with you to arrange the next interview with me.

Recruiter: Great news! I’ll contact [Company] this afternoon and give you their feedback.

Today – voicemail.

Recruiter: Hi it’s [Recruiter]. I didn’t hear from you yesterday and I did ask you to let me know how it went. Please call me as soon as you get this.

Text message.

Recruiter: Hi – didn’t hear from you yesterday. Call me ASAP.

Me: Sorry, I thought the text message telling you about the interview was sufficient. I’ll be free to talk at lunchtime.

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You can’t beat a good bit of hypocrisy

Interview. In the UK it’s standard to have long notice periods of generally at least one month.

Interviewer: Right so we only have a couple more questions at this point. How long is your notice period at your current job?

Me: Two months.

Interviewer: Two months?! Any chance you can get that down to one month?

Me: I can always ask at the point I hand in my notice, however obviously I can’t give any guarantees as it’s clearly written in my contract. What’s the notice period here, out of interest?

Interviewer: …. two months.

Your experience is inexperienced 

Phone conversation.

Recruiter: Well according to the experience on your CV you are just what they are looking for. You even have experience in [new technology] that they are really hoping to move into in the next year. You’re the best match I’ve seen so far.

Me: That’s great to hear.

Recruiter: Now the position pays between £50,000 and £60,000 but I’d like to send you across at £35,000.

Me: But the position pays more than that.

Recruiter: To be honest, you just don’t have the experience.

Does that mean you don’t?

Voicemail:

“….so they’d really like to schedule an interview. Let me know when you’re free to talk and we can set that up. Love you, bye! … oh shit, sorry, autopilot. Really sorry, sorry, bye.”

At least they didn’t accidentally call me mom!

Still happens so often.

Note: In the UK as in many states in the US, interviewers are advised to stay away from asking any questions that may lead to an accusation of discriminatory hiring practices. This means no asking about sexual orientation, religion or politics. It is also frowned upon to ask a female about whether she has or wants kids.

Example 1 – The direct one.

Interviewer: Soooo, you have kids?

Example 2 – The pryer.

Interviewer: Do you live locally?
Me: Yes, about 20 minutes away.
Interviewer: You in one of these houseshares?
Me: No.
Interviewer: Do you have a family?
Me: Er… I live with my partner.
Interviewer: No kids?
Me: …

Example 3 – The sneaky one.

Interviewer: This job sometimes requires on call work.
Me: That’s fine.
Interviewer: It can be really unsociable hours.
Me: That’s fine.
Interviewer: It can be really hard on a family.
Me: Sure.
Interviewer: Especially if you have young children.
Me: I can imagine.
Interviewer: Or are likely to have in the near future.
Me: …

Example 4 – Bold faced cheek

Note: This was not a tech job and I was 15 years old.

Interviewer: Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: Not sure it matters but yes.
Interviewer: Are you pregnant?
Me: Er….
Interviewer: We have to know. Health and Safety.